|The Girl in the Bubble|
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The Girl in the Bubble ~ how it all began.
So sitting at home one evening, the roommate and I were watching some typical local news station. A story came on about a guy who had fallen asleep in a dumpster and had been awoken by the sounds of a garbage truck grabbing the dumpster and tossing him into the back of the truck. Of course, our trusty correspondent Dick was on the scene. The story unfolds as the fire department is called to rescue the man from the dumpster...back to you Susan.
So there ya go ~ at that moment, between gales of laughter, we decided I needed my own commentary bubble for moments like these. And now ~ I've recreated it here for you. ;)
This is a new page
I was at a banquet for a group at school...one woman mentions that she has to go because she has a date with girlfriends to play dominoes. Now we all laugh, and someone mentions that they don't know how to play dominoes. Everyone starts commenting on their ability (or inability) to play dominoes. After hearing one person say they don't know how to play ~ one precocious girl at the table (a graduating senior no less) says, "oh, it's easy! you just stand them all up in a line...and knock the first one down and they all fall over."
Now I'm waiting for her to laugh, giving us some signal that she's joking. But, alas, that doesn't happen. The conversation stops for a moment while those of us who HAVE A CLUE look at each other like, "Is she serious???"
SHE WAS! hehe
The Witches and Jesus-Lady
Some of you may have already heard about Jesus-Lady, but for those of you who haven't, a brief background. There is this woman in my Philosophy of Religion class, who like to talk. Now, we've all had a woman like her in one of our classes ~ the older woman who always has something to say, or who asks too many questions, and takes everything too literally. A woman so bad that I am afraid the next time she speaks, the teacher might even backhand her.
Oh and the Jesus part comes in because she's very Christian ~ based on faith with no real reason ~ oh and she tells everyone about how she drinks bottles of wine at a time. uh, okay. So anyway, we're being lectured on about evil and how the bubonic plague is an example of natural evil that God is responsible for if he is all knowing...and as we leave the classroom, Jesus lady says to me and Brianne, "I always blamed the bubonic plague on women." We kept walking, but she kept right up and kept talking, "you know, I thought the witches 'caused it. They were prostitutes" and I just shook my head, said something smart-assed and walked away. While Brianne giggled. Where do I find these people? Do I just look friendly? I know i don't look tolerant. I'd like to say I don't discriminate, but there is one area that i have a hard time with. Stupidity. I discriminate against stupid people ~ and they won't leave me alone!
Other Stupid Things I've Heard
Ever take a general education class only to find that there is a handful of students who have actually majored in the horrible subject? There is one guy who likes to sound off about random things with technical verbage relating to another philosopher that no one else in the room (other than the 3 other philosophy majors) have heard of. I think he thinks he sounds smart. Unfortunately, he ruins this by pronouncing things WRONG. And just sounds like a dumbass.
Holocaust ~ prounced: Holy-Cost
Omnipotent ~ prounced: Omni-Poe-tent (I can get anyone pregnant, I am omni-poe-tent LOL)
And then he makes up words, for example, quanticized. Anyone know what this means? I'll give you a cookie if you can write and tell me. :) ::giggle::
More Stupidity: I'm kind of on my political soapbox today ~ so this is sort of political (and, well, sorta not) The Governor race is completely silly ~ I tried to figure out who I was going to vote for (thinking I had to vote for Arnold or Bustamonte for my vote to count). So I was checking out other sites. And I came across the site for Arianna Huffington. Okay, it's ADORABLE. Check it out: www.ariannaforgov.com. She's got two cartoon videos 1) the Special Interest Brothel and 2) the Hummer vs. the Hybrid. So adorable. Anyway, I think I'm voting for her. :) Onto not so political but still a conservative issue. Have you heard about the marriage classes they want to offer in high schools? (haven't they been doing this for years anyway??) Well, apparently conservatives are in a funk about it ~ "we're promoting teen marriage...teen marriages are more likely to fail...blah blah blah yada yada yada" Yet, almost all schools in California do the parenting classes. The kids carry around a baby that is either heavy like a real baby or cries like a real baby...and they find out how much it sucks to have to lug the damn thing around. And hopefully choose to not have babies. Well, couldn't we say that technically high schools are promoting teen parents? "oh, but that's different...the class shows them how much responsibility it is." Couldn't the same be said about the marriage class? I mean, the perks of being married certainly won't be as available when you're stuck with whoever you're assigned to (most likely no one you'd want to sleep with...) and as much fun as those little mock wedding ceremonies/receptions are ~ the real marriage comes when they have to take each other's opinions and concerns into consideration. They have to learn to compromise and put someone else's needs on the same level with their own (know any teenagers who like to think of anyone but themselves?!) Yeah ~ marriage will be a real shock if you're just focused on how much fun it would be to have a wedding...something a lot of newlyweds are figuring out too late.
Ah, the irony. I was reading craigslist - checking out the rants and raves section because it's where everyone bitches and moans about how things suck and this sucks and that sucks and these people are jerks and whatnot. And this person - actually several people kept saying that other people were "loosers." Unless there is a new word for whore that I'm not aware of, I believe they meant losers. I hate people with bad grammar. Yes, you! Over there with the bad grammar and spelling skills - this means you. argh. I couldn't read any more of the drivle written by the LOOSERS.
Random, uh, confession, if you will...
So sometimes I think of "the stupidest things I've heard today" and admittedly...I have been the person saying those things lately! I don't know what's wrong with me ~ I mean, I guess it's true that once you get a degree, you lose all common sense. Of course, being that I'm sitting here writing this, I can't think of a single thing ~ but there have been many occassions ~ I will guarantee you that. I'll keep ya posted. ;)
UPDATE: I remember something I figured out recently that someone (Mark!) thought I was dumb for not knowing. eminem. His real name? Marshall Mathers. His initials? M M. Get it?! Yeah, me either.
Also - did you know that eyebrows are for catching sweat? I always thought they were funny little (or big!) things - but why? Except that people who forget to draw theirs on become expressionless. That's so sad. But sweat? Who'd have thought?
And now, the news... I tried to find my most responsible looking picture ~ I have settled on this. The closest I get to looking like a television news reporter....when I shake my head, I think my hair may just move as one solid mass.
I tried to find my most responsible looking picture ~ I have settled on this. The closest I get to looking like a television news reporter....when I shake my head, I think my hair may just move as one solid mass.